A Chat with Conz Preti, Author of 'Too Pregnant To Move"
If you could sum up your first pregnancy in one word, what would it be?
Unknown!
What was the most unexpected thing about being pregnant the first time around?
How clueless I was about the whole thing. I thought I was pretty aware of what went down and being in tune with my body, but after getting pregnant I realized it was not the case. I knew so little about everything. I read and listened and look for all the information possible because I needed to know all the ins and outs of it.
I also didn’t know how isolating the first and third trimesters were going to be for me. The first one because I didn’t want to tell anyone in fear of what could happen, then when the second trimester came around it was all fun and excitement, but by the third, I was tired and overwhelmed and all I wanted to do was nap. But I felt bad because I also wanted to hang out with my friends while I still could.
You’re currently expecting twins. Congrats! How are you preparing?
I think having a kid already is the best preparation we can do. We know what the newborn stage is like, and even though it’ll be so much harder (because... two newborns!!) at least I know a lot more than when I had my first. We also know that babies can come whenever they want so we already have everything set up at home for their arrival. First time around we didn’t even have a bassinet for him ready!
How has this pregnancy been different than the last? And how has it been exactly the same?
They’ve been the same in the sense that we haven’t had any major issues. Every ultrasound or doctor’s appointment has been fast and predictable. They have been super different for multiple of reasons. I don’t know if it’s because it’s twins, or girls, or the second time around, but the first trimester really kicked my butt in terms of all-day sickness. I could barely function.
I’ve also been getting much bigger much faster, and I can compare this closely because with both pregnancies my due date was 3/15 so I can look back to photos on the same day and see how much bigger my bump is this time around. The third trimester this time around has been harder because on top of growing babies and running out of space in my body, I’m also chasing a very active toddler who wants to play all the time. He doesn’t get that mommy needs to sit around a bit more than usual and he wants to be on top of me all the time.
What made you decide to come out with a journal for women going through the pregnancy process? And how did you want it to be different than others out there?
When I was pregnant the first time around I felt that everything I read was either super lovey dovey (like, this is the best time of your life, you were born to do this, trust your body, bla bla) or super scientific. There was no room for “hey today sucked because I’ve been vurping in my mouth all day” kinda feelings. So I felt a bit weird -to put it gently- for having all these other thoughts and feelings that didn’t fit in any of the two categories of things I was reading.
I wanted to vent about how it sucks to have insomnia when you are so so tired, or how I was done with going to the bathroom 17 times a day, without anyone judging me or thinking I didn’t love this baby. Then I had him and postpartum hit me like a train and I realized I needed to be the voice that tells other pregnant people that everything they are feeling is ok and valid.
If you could fix one thing about the birth process here in the US, what would it be?
How expensive it is. And how you have no idea how much you’ll actually pay for things.
But if you allow me to fix more things, I’d like to give moms more support postpartum, we usher women out of the hospital with this tiny little human to take care of without paid leave, mental health support and very little medical support. The fact that women have to wait six weeks after going through childbirth is mindblowing to me.
What are you most excited about now that you’re expecting again?
To see Ozzy become a big brother. And to hopefully enjoy the newborn stage more than I did the first time around. I was so consumed with the anxiety of doing things wrong that I didn’t really enjoy having a tiny baby.
And finally, what’s the last crazy thing your son Ozzy said to you?
So, not something he said but he’s been obsessed with a song for weeks and it’s the only thing we can play on Alexa. I joke that someone at Amazon is probably looking at our stats wondering why the hell we’ve played the same Italian 80s synth rock song over and over and over again. He’s got an interesting taste in music, that I can tell you.
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